Saturday, February 13, 2010


So I braved the second scariest shopping expedition a woman can take yesterday.


This, of course, is second only to swimsuit shopping.

For the last 6 weeks I've been wearing my fat maternity jeans. I still can't fit into my skinny maternity jeans (HORRIFYING). Let me ammend that statement. I can squeeze myself into them but they look painted on. And after looking at some of my belly pictures you can see where I wore them LONG past their prime. I figure B may never have sex with me again at this point, why add to the ammunition?

Anyhoo, said chunky monkey maternity jeans are more than a little loose on me. I'm constantly having to pull them up since they're always trying to make a great escape off my body. And when you're carrying two little bambinos around, the last thing you want to do is trip over your pant leg.

So, I needed new jeans. Stat. Of course, I didn't want to spend much since I hope to be too small for them in a few weeks. Target hoooo!!!!

Finding jeans that fit in Target, it turns out, is a lot like finding a man. You're looking for the RIGHT FIT and there sure is a lot of junk to sort through. And in my case, I wasn't even sure what I needed since I hadn't dressed my body in months.

So Target's jeans fall into the following categories:

TEEN- These jeans were horribly skinny and I felt like I was shopping in the children's section. Even looking at their largest size felt like I was looking at doll clothes. And most of their selection fell into this category. PASS.

WOMEN- (Mom Jeans). Nuff said. Do you want bright shiny brass buttons on your ass cheeks? DONE! Because nothing says "Hot Mama" like some glittery band geek buttons shimmering off your buttocks.

PLUS SIZE- Okay, I spent a while contemplating getting jeans in this area, remembering Stacey & Clinton's motto, "Don't pay attention to size!" only to realize that their smallest jeans looked like my too-big maternity jeans. PASS

MATERNITY- I landed back in the maternity department and was seriously considering getting some when I had to remind myself that I'M NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE. Buying maternity jeans seemed like a backslide. Not to mention these suckers looked a lot like the teen jeans. WTF?

So, I'm a tweener. I fall in between. Lucky for me I was able to find 1 pair. One. No glittery buttons. No skinny leg. No elastic waist band. Now I just have to hem these mo-fos because they were built for an amazon.

And with the end of my shopping tale, I will regale you with pictures of my little nuggety nuggets. 6 WEEKS OLD! AND we're finally full-term. Halle-effing-lujah. I can't believe how big they're getting. Finn is now 7 lbs 1 oz. Cassidy is 6 lbs 1 oz.


  1. What a shopping trip! You are way more brave than I would have been! It sounds like you did fantastic and did I mention your babies!!! So damn cute.

  2. Love those peanut pics! (And don't even get me started on jeans shopping ...)

  3. Just found your blog. Love your story, love your pics, love your humor. We'll be doing the twin thing in 6 months, and I maybe should not have read your story about the first night home. I did have to yell at my husband in the other room that you called your son an ass hole because I was laughing so hard.

  4. I just want you to know you are one of the only post-mommy blogs I've ever followed. Okay, lies, you are the ONLY post-mommy blog I still read. I love your sense of humor and your writing style. Just thought I would let you know you have not sunk into the "Lame Mommy Blog" category. Thanks for that :)