Blog? What Blog?

Wowsa. It's been a long time since I updated this mother. It should really come as no surprise seeing as how every to-do list seems to just get longer and longer. In fact, I have turned into that mother who waltzes around in pajamas all day and can't even manage to get the dishwasher loaded. This is a distinct change from a month ago. I do not parent with any kind of finesse. It's all about survival.

Why the change, you might ask? I attribute it to the following 2 factors:

1. Acid Reflux
2. Colic (you bastard mother clucker)

This makes it so that our babes here like to be held ALL.THE.TIME. And screaming is a common soundtrack of this household. We call it "The Monster." As in, "Uh oh. Here comes the monster!"

Now I say to you-
One baby wanting to be held all the time = nuisance.
Two babies wanting to be held all the time = impossible

This is a truth, universally acknowledged. Or if it isn't, it should be.

So I basically spend most of the day on the couch where I can hold 2 babies at once or feed a baby while consoling another. Oh, and our babes have decided they like to nap at different times during the day leaving very little grown-up time. When I do get it, I basically run around the house and try to straighten up so that we don't look like we live in a hoarder's dumping ground and babies can get clean clothes. A shower is a luxury. This leaves very little time for the ole bloggity blog. OH, and I have a Thank You note list about a mile long qualifying me as the shittiest, least classiest friend alive.

So, here's a month's update of our super exciting lives:

* Finn is now in Size 1 diapers and has outgrown his newborn clothes
* Cassidy outgrew her preemie clothes and is filling out the newbs quite nicely
* Finn officially has Acid Reflux and it makes him kind of an asshole. If he's not sleeping or eating, he's screaming into his bottle or my breast, or just plain screaming
* Cassidy has decided that being held after eating is a must and will cry if she doesn't get it. Is this the baby equivalent of being held after sex?
* Finn has turned into quite the chunk at 9 lbs, 5 oz. Cassidy's holding strong at the 10th percentile at 7 lbs, 13 oz.
* The babies are breastfeeding! They latch on every time now. It's just a matter of whether they get enough. I supplement a lot but whatevs.
* Cassidy got taken off oxygen. Halle-fuckin-lujah
* The babes have decided they don't so much like the pacifiers anymore. This makes my life way suckier (no pun intended). Trust.
* The babies smile. Like, real, honest-to-goodness, non-gassy smiles

And in the grown-up camp:

* I have lost 34 pounds so far and have 20 to go! I've actually seen the scale tell me I have 18 to go but if I so much as look at salt, I gain 2 pounds.
* Our car was hit by a stop sign-running soccer mom a couple weeks ago and we went from being a one-car family to a no-car family. We have since gotten a Honda Pilot and love it! But this whole car accident, car shopping business really was a time- and energy-suck.
* I have stopped obsessing about my milk production. FINALLY! This has been one serious benefit of breastfeeding. If I can't measure it, I can't obsess. This has lead to a whole laissez-faire attitude about formula supplementation in general.
* We are interviewing nannies. We posted an ad on care.com and got 60 responses in a just a few days. So we narrowed it down to a top 10 and have been doing phone interviews to start.

And that's the shiz around here. Sorry for the wham-bam style of this blog. Trust me, I would have loved to sit down, type out some internet poetry, and then slam my laptop closed, and slap my knee with a satisfied, "Done!" Alas, life and acid reflux have other plans...

And now here are some pictures of the babes for your viewing pleasure!

Sleeping Cassidy


Sleeping Finn


2 Babes (they're so stinkin cute. I can't get over it)


Finn With Attitude. I think he's saying, "Put down the effing camera and feed me!"


Cassidy rocks the tummy time while Finn watches, fascinated and horrified.


And the obligatory 2 month picture. Finn slept through it but Cassidy tried to strike a pose. Which, it turns out, is really hard when you can't control your body.



And, finally, proof that my babies do more than scream: