Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Fertility Project

So, let's see.  I think the most important thing to know is that this blog is covert.   Reason being, I'm infertile and so we're not telling anyone about our baby-brewing efforts.  Since the reproduction of our genetic code is black-ops, I'm not telling anyone I know about this blog. This, of course, conjures up images of sperm outfitted in ninja outfits while a Sydney Bristow wigged egg tries to repel out of my ovary (unsuccessfully).

But, for the love of GOD, I need a good outlet.  I'm a chatty, over-sharing person.  If you're my friend, chances are you've heard me talk about poop, gas, pap smears, or that time my vag smelled like marijuana (has this happened to anyone else?). So, to keep this one underwraps from everyone I know is completely against my nature.  

Our journey to-date: 
April 2005- Diagnosed with PCOS

August 2005- Meet B. Dating and making out immediately follow

July 2006- Get engaged.  Move in together.

September 2007- Get murried.

January- Start counting the days between periods.

August 2008- Get my period. Stop trying to NOT make a babe.

September 2008- No period. No BFP.

October 2008- period. No BFP. Let's go see a reproductive endocrinologist.  Hello Doctor? Please refer me to a reproductive endocrinologist. Go see endocrinologist.  

November 2008- Get put on Metformin 500 mg with the instruction to double dose in 2 weeks. Oh yeah, and she says if it doesn't work for several months they'll refer me to an RE.  (B and I exchange glances.  We thought she WAS an RE???) Increase dose.  Nausea, fainting in the shower, laying on the floor naked while my dog sniffs me are all wonderful side-effects that follow.  But I push on through.  1000 mg conquered after several uncomfortable days and low-level stomachy nastiness for 1 month.  Oh, yeah... Start charting.  

December 2008- Anovulatory cycle.  Tell my friend about charting (I told you I have a big mouth.  I tell her I'm charting for a year before trying).

January 2009- Ovulate!  On Day 30, but who cares???  But oops, we didn't time our boot-knocking correctly.  Maybe next month? I up my dose to 1500 mg. After vomiting all night and replaying November's bathroom-floor date decide to go back to 1000 mg.  Email to endocrinologist confirms this is a good decision. 

Oh, and my friend referenced in December is knocked up.  Yay!  And fuck.

February 2009- Moronic OBGYN visit.  She tries to put me on BCP after I tell her I'm on Metformin and not using any contraception...Um...hello? I'm trying to get knocked up, biatch and I have PCOS. She recommends an ultrasound to "rule out" anything else.  Ultrasound reveals PCOS (Surprise! This- is my THIRD diagnosis.  Wow...helpful. ).  Oh, but I learn my left ovary is way more sucky and special-needs than the right. And I was introduced to the dildo cam.

March 2009- Another anovulatory cycle.  Currently on Day 11 and the temps are more normal than the non-ovulating cycles. I think I ovulate with my R ovary and the L sucks ass. Oh, and I upped my dose back to 1500 after reading on how to get rid of all the nasty side effects.  It's been a week and I haven't kissed the bathroom floor or toilet once!  Endocrinologist visit is on Monday!

Whew, that's a lot to put down.  But, there you go!


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