Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Name Game

Just say no to telling people your prospective baby names!

B & I have been talking baby names since we were "cereal" about each other. We knew we were going to get married. We just knew we were going to have babies (we didn't realize this was going to prove to be the challenge it initially did). And we KNEW our babies were going to have totally kick-ass names!

Fast forward to actual fertilization and a BFP. B & I agreed- we were NOT going to tell people our baby names. We didn't want the unsolicited advice, the weird faces, the people poo-pooing our awesome names (Cause what did they know anyway? And I'm sorry a person with that same name was a whore at your college, stole your lunch money, farted on you in front of everyone...).

We were going strong until 2 weeks ago. B had a few too many beers and spilled the beans to his parents. Their reaction? I think it was a non-reaction... Like, "Oh...okay. That's, how's your grass growing?" So to make things equitable, I told my parents this week. Uh- open flood gates of unwelcome opinion. Fuck.

First reaction- crickets
My reaction- "THIS is why we weren't telling anybody!"
Their reaction (they like to be on the phone at the same time)- "Uh, we're not used to it. We're letting it sink in." (I call the Bull Shit police)
My reaction- Proceed justifying how we chose our names....(isn't that shitty?)

Fast forward to yesterday and a call from the moms

Mom- "I was thinking about your baby names. How about [girl name]?" (this name starts with the same letter as our favorite boy name)
Me- 'Thanks Mom, but we're staying away from anything matchy and that includes names that start with the same letter."
Mom- "I don't think it's matchy."
Me- "It starts with the same letter. That's too matchy and cute. Sorry."
Mom- "I was thinking about your other boy name. It's really nice but I'm afraid he'll get beat up because of it."
Me- (This is where, in my head, I jump through the phone lines and knock her over the head with a Baby Name book). Instead- "That's not going to happen. It's in the same family as lots of other popular boy names right now." (see how I'm justifying again? SHIT)
Mom- "Oh, I didn't realize that..... so how about [insert girl's name]?
Me- "We'll see..."
Mom- "Well, I really like [girl's name]
Me- "You'll always be able to like it. I won't take that away from you."
Mom- "Um...okay."

So, people feel like they are entitled to tell you what they think of your chosen baby's names. Hi- we're not in the "thinking about it" stage. We have chosen 2 top names and we're going to finalize it after they're born. And then you end up defending a choice you agonized over, researched, etc. This decision is pretty personal and I don't think people get it.

Moral of the story: Keep your mouth shut! Unless of course, you're a patient person (I'm not) and don't get annoyed easily (read- NOT ME). The.End.


  1. I'm sorry about the unwelcome advice, I will def heed your advice when my time comes. Btw, love your blog and your honest account of your pregnancy, I don't have any kids yet and reading your blog is definitely an eye opening experience. I wish you the very best and congratulations.

  2. Um, wow. That sucks... sorry you feel you have to justify your names. I, too, will heed your advice and keep our names to ourselves. We're already having to fight the matchy/ryhming suggestions from family (it is NOT happening; including, like you guys', names that start with the first letter) and we don't even know sexes yet.