Friday, June 26, 2009

Massage Gone Bad

So the place I work for tries really hard to reward our hard work.

Side Note: Hard work for me is taking a break from surfing to (insert work task) for 5 minutes

So, they bring in this "massagers" - this is what they called them in the company email.  Hello?! They're called Masseuses! A "massager" is that scandalous contraption ladies keep in their night stand. In retrospect, this makes that email magical and amazing and not so moronic after all.  HA!

So, I go in for my little chair massage.  Please note- they have 2 people going at once so you're in there with a co-worker.  I whisper to the MASSAGER that I'm expecting (I don't know about these things! What if she went all Chuck Norris shiatsu on me?).  She says it's no big deal.  Yay!

Then...ahem... she starts to talk during my massage.  I HATE when massagers talk during massages.  Hello? I'm here to zone out.  But it gets worse.  She wants to talk about my pregnancy.  And my fellow worker-bee is like 2 feet away.  "I'm trying to be on the down low and you're asking me how many weeks I am?  STFU!"  

I didn't actually say this cause my Mama raised me right.  So I mumble "7 weeks."  Then she starts talking about vaginal discharge........


Massage- Fail

1 comment:

  1. Jesus. I have a co-worker who is a master in the art of Oversharing and leads the charge in Making Others Uncomfortable. She had a hard time getting pregnant and when she finally became pregnant she felt like everyone needed to be apprised about what was going down in Ladytown.

    I think the most mortifying instance was when I rolled into work one day and she was yammering on to a (male) co-worker in our very open workspace about her CERVICAL MUCUS.

    And then I died.