Son of a.....!!!!

So, I know I'm supposed to be writing a 26 week update. Yay! 26 weeks yesterday!!!

Unfortunately, all I can think of is that the bitch known as Bedrest has come to town. And she's a good 9 weeks early.

I just got back from El Doctor Specialisto who was put in charge of examining this little bright spot on Baby Boy's belly identified during my 20 week visit. This, by the way, was completely uneventful and underwhelming. There is nothing special about Baby Boy's belly calcification. What was special is the size of my cervix. 2 centimeters. That's right....2

I'm no dummy. I read other people's blogs. I read blogs of Moms of Multiples and how they're put on strict bedrest when their cervixes are 2.7 and 2.4 centimenters. I would kill for an extra two-fifths of a centimeter right bout now. Mother clucker.

So el doctor specialisto seemed reluctant to put me on bedrest. I'm attributing this seeming laise-faire attitude to her role as a guest and not a starring role in this Baby Baking process. She told me to "reduce my activity." Bitch, please. I sat on my ass all weekend and worked from my couch 2 days last week. What effing activity am I supposed to reduce? I prodded her until she suggested I cut my work hours by half (or work from home half-time) and get a Fetal Fibronectin test with our regular OB on Thursday. This test will predict my chances of giving birth in the next two weeks. 2 WEEKS! Oh hellz no. I'm having none of that.

So, until Thursday I'm sort of in limbo. I'm going to go into work tomorrow and make a plan with the Boss Man. I'm also going to lay like brocolli as much as humanly possible and think of every conceivable way I can reduce my activity.

While I lay here, I'll give you a nice 26 week update. Sorry no picture for now. My photographer, B, is out buying bedrest supplies...

How far along? 26 weeks, 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: I weighed myself Saturday and I was 35 pounds. So I'm back up 5 pounds. I have no idea what's happening in that department...
Maternity clothes? All maternity
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Not as good. That effing hip pain is kicking my ass
Movement: A LOT. And I freaking love it.
Food cravings: Anything. Usually whatever I see on tv.
Gender: A boy and a girl
Labor Signs: So I have braxton hix contractions every time I stand up.

What I miss: Getting off the couch without it taking an act of Congress.
What I am looking forward to: My doctor's appointment on Thursday. I NEED ANSWERS

Milestones: Our cribs came! Finishing our baby class! Um...bedrest?